This morning Kristi tried to give me a Bible. It was like one of those ones that Christian groups give out (or try to give out) at colleges and high schools, except with a black rather than green cover. She also told me that that "it might really help me." Now, I don't know what a good time would be to be proselytized by a crazy woman, but i can tell you with goddamn certainty that it's not before 7:30 in the morning.
She also tried to give a fellow vanpooler, Trent, a hideous king (or maybe wise man) bobble head doll. Among the many strange things about this woman is that her bag isn't really that big, and yet she has room for a knitting project that involves 3 rather large skeins of yarn, as well as the aforementioned bobble head doll, the small bible, and a DVD I've noticed her carrying around (i go back and forth imagining it's either Left Behind or The Rocky Horror Picture Show). Is a Scary Poppins joke too obvious?
Now, let me tell you the back story: When I got on the van this morning Kristi and Trent (the bobble head recipient) were discussing which lie was “worse for America’s youth,” the Clinton-Lewinsky lie or the WMD lie (this was at 6:40 in the morning). At the time I knew not to enter into this discussion, so I didn't until I heard this bit: "(George W. Bush) didn't lie, he didn't know what he was doing...he's a puppet. i think he's a good president and that he would be reelected if he were able to run again this year." I countered this assessment with something incredibly intelligent, like "there's no way, he's got historically low approval ratings and 80% of Americans think we're headed in the wrong direction. There's no way." Apparently this sentiment screams out "this girl needs saving."
I hope it's needless to say, but I declined the Bible. In fact, the more I deal with Kristi, I'm growing particularly proud of how politely I can decline something, especially considering that all of the offering happens before 8am.
I have one nagging thought about this, though. Which is worse the pants offer or the Bible offer?
1 comment:
Personally, I would be more annoyed by the pants offer than the Bible offer. I already kind of assume that I'm a lost cause, soul-wise, as far as any fundie is concerned, but if a toesie sock wearer thinks that I can be sartorially improved by random stranger handmedown pants - well, get thee behind me before I bitch-smite thee with great wrath.
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